why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Every concussion has its silver lining
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
