That's intense
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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