next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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