She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize