she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
