its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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