woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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