there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
