she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
