You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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