I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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