They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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