For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
