shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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