the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize