Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
