he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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