so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
