My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
