Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
