I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
