There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
