I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
