Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
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