Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
