Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
