She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
