I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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