I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
