i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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