His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
