i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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