Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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