I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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