Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
