Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
my shit smells like andre
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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