I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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