i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
