He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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