I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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