Define "chronic" masturbator.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
