May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
