Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
