dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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