Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
