Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
