I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
