if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
