ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
