It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
