that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize