I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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