brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
