i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm like, not good at living.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize