I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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